Incomprehensible

Got a present from a student today - it was beautiful - she drew a picture, colored it in, and framed it. So much thought was put into it and it was so carefully done. It was wrapped in newspaper, carefully and perfectly, with a string bow. It came with a little letter. I don't understand the duality of my life.

My Therapist, the Archaeologist

My therapist, god bless his soul, is digging like there is no tomorrow. He digs and and digs and holds these fucking artifacts up for me to see as we analyze them together..."When did this happen?" and "What did you do with your hands?" and the ever famous "How does this make you feel?" I know, it's his job, but we have been digging at sites I have long ago labeled DANGEROUS and left alone in, what I think, is well reasoned fear. Now, with the arm amputation compulsion plaguing me most of the time and vivid as any real event, the DANGER is really in not digging. We discussed how I replay a scene over and over and over and after viewing this scene I am awash in shame and disgust and physical sickness. He retold me what I told him, like it was a story, but maybe a story in which I am a character. He asked me if I thought it was accurate. I told him I both knew with certainty it was true, and also knew without doubt that it was not. That's the craziness of dissociation, and the danger.

Riding the Wave, anonymously

Pulled under, pulled out....like riding a wave....can't quite decide what all I should do. One of me is pretty active letting people know about the book. My public me is dying to let everyone know about the book, but won't, because it's anonymous for a reason. So the me that is on here, and on the fb page, and on all the DID pages is super excited and wants everyone to know all about EVERYTHING. But the public me is afraid, afraid, afraid. Check out the interview with Donna Williams, at any cost. And please - give me some advice on how public to be about my story...

http://blog.donnawilliams.net/

My book is available!!!!

You can order my book now!

http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/in-and-out-of-iceglass-living-with-dissociative-identity-disorder-and-chemical-dependency/12937725?productTrackingContext=search_results/search_shelf/center/1

or just go to Lulu.com and do a search for "In and Out of Ice/Glass"